Today on A&E they had the Biography: Wayne Newton. Rock on. The Wayner is an idol to swankypimps everywhere, the laid back chubby kid with a self-depricating sense of humor who decided to lose weight and grow a seventies porno moustache and wear chest-hair-bearing butterfly collar shirts and have sex with everyone.

He also has an estate where he raises Arabian horses.

Wayne rules! I saw him perform in Vegas four years ago, and even though his voice is nowhere near what it used to be, he had the audience eating out of his hand for two straight hours. He is an amazing showman and the most charismatic entertainer I've seen.

I love Wayne Newton. In a Platonic, non-homosexual way, that is. For all the great memories, I say Danke Schoen, Wayne Newton. Danke Schoen.

Dave Barry on outsourcing: Today, of course, we don't make anything. If you give iron ore to modern American workers, it will get into their Starbucks mocha latte, and they will sue you, and they will win. The making of things was outsourced decades ago to foreign nations such as Asia...

In a few years, the only industry left in the United States will be "reality" television. A lot of people think this is bad. Congress recently tried to pass a law against outsourcing, only to discover that all federal legislation since 1997 actually has been produced in Taiwan.