 |
|
 |
|||||
links
|
|
Thursday, January 05, 2006
 The other day I did a Google search for ninjas and pirates. This is because they are awesome. Actually, I was trying to remember the URL for this website. Amazingly, the Google sponsored links which spit out "Looking for [search term]? try [commercial site]" came up with a few gems. First off, I had no idea that you could purchase a ninja on eBay. God, what a country!  And secondly, it is my New Years resolution to click this link and self-actualize myself by becoming an apprentice ninja.  posted by Nate on 1:10 AM link Tuesday, January 03, 2006All I can do is grin knowingly. My alma mater, the University of Michigan, has banned Coca Cola because of some weird lefty concern for labor conditions in Colombia or something. I'm not kidding; they really don't know the particulars themselves, just that its a Good Cause concerned with Social Justice and Stuff. Damn the Man! Fight the Power! Ah, the fond memories of the People's Republic of Ann Arbor. How I miss the rich white kids with Che T-shirts smoking reefer paid for by their parents' white collar capitalist pig jobs. And the "Hate is Not a Family Value" bumper stickers. (But hate is justified-- no, encouraged-- if its directed toward a Republican. They aren't human anyway. More like evil robots serving their Dark Master Jeebus Hitlerburton.) Do you want to know the reason I failed advanced freshman Spanish at UM? Not because I can't hablo espanol; because I was sick of discussing Spanish language readings on the CIA distributing crack in the barrio. Hooray crack! My Swankypimp persona is based on so much more than sweet clothes and the exploitation of women; a lot of it is born from the desire to line up each and every college Marxist and crack them hard with a backhanded pimpslap. Then I will rejoice and sip cognac and put on a Barry White record and make sweet love to my lady for minutes on end. Aww yeah, I am the shiznit. Free Mumia! posted by Nate on 10:28 PM link Sunday, January 01, 2006New England QB Doug Flutie records the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Well, maybe the fourth-most Amazing Thing I Have Ever Seen, besides only The Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, and the unfathomable success of a two hour feature film based entirely on seeing Saved By The Bell's Jessie Spano's naughty bits. (Oh those sad and lonely days before the Internet, when curious teenagers had nowhere to turn but Shannon Tweed movies on Skinamax.)  Forget about wearing a throwback jersey; this is the definition of Old School. posted by Nate on 11:26 PM link
|
|
words
of wisdom
|
|||
| Copyright 2004. All
your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
|||||||
