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Thursday, October 21, 2004
Captain Cave Man / Jesus Christ gets a Grand Slam and six RBI as the Red Sawks pull off the improbable, unprecedented comeback. No sport other than hockey has had a playoff comeback from a 3-0 deficit, so I must tip my touk to Boston, eh. Have a Tim Horton's coffee and a Timbit on me, ya hosers. If I had to guess, Houston will win their series, and Roger Clemens will pull out his old team's collective heart and stomp on it in Game Seven of the World Series, adding another layer of sadness to The Curse. Too bad you gave up on him, Boston. Dan Duquette was aboot ten years ahead of his time. Either that or he sucks. The crazy record-setting Mormon Jeopardy Dude chooses "What is option #2?" UPDATE: Cardinals win. No aorta-stomping Roger Clemens, though Tony LaRussa-- whose Oakland teams routinely dismantled Clemens' late eighties Boston teams-- is prominently involved. Then again, LaRussa brought awesome offensive Oakland teams into the Series and found a way to lose, even with guys like Dave Stewart and Dennis Eckersley on the mound. So really, this team with Woody Williams et al. could be royally screwed. posted by Nate on 2:14 AM link Tuesday, October 19, 2004In the Red Sox game last night, Tim McCarver talked about a batter hitting a ball down the right field foul line. His exact words were "jerking one around Pesky's Pole." Ummm... Errr... I'ts a bit like Kansas' Roy Williams, who always got bounced early in the college basketball tourney. Four years ago he made the Sweet Sixteen and commented that everyone knows he had a monkey on his back, but this year he "jerked it right off." As perennial smart-ass Keith Olbermann (then with FOX Sports) described it, "If we said what we are thinking right now, we would all be fired." It was fantastic, by the way. Game Five, that is, not some monkey porn Internet site. Darn-- now swankypimp.com will be highly ranked in any Google search for monkey porn. Curt Schilling was unbelievable tonight, turning in one of the grittiest performances I've seen. I've been a big Schilling fan for years, first due to his awesome performance in the 2001 post-season, then for engineering his move to Boston by participating in fan chat rooms and demonstrating an unbelievable enthusiasm to play for a contender. The way he is dealing with his injury is inspiring; I mean, if I tore an ankle tendon I wouldn't be walking, let alone throwing 94 miles per hour. Assuming the collective elbow of the Boston bullpen doesn't come flying off mid-pitch, this is an amazing effort to even get to game seven. Perhaps The Curse is over, leaving my Cubbies to be the most pathetic team in baseball. Wait till next year. UPDATE: The Yankees are within one run. Cue the Imperial March. UPDATE 2: A few seconds later, A-Rod was called out for swatting the ball from Arroyo's hand, causing an error. Jeter goes back to first and his run doesn't count. Are things going the Sawks way tonight or what? Wicked hahd-cah ah-sahm. I'm sure that somewhere Ben Affleck is touching himself in an inappropriate manner. Either that, or-- given that he's handsome and a multimillionaire-- he has someone else to touch him in said inappropriate manner. He has had sexual relations with J-Lo, you know. UPDATE 3: Sawks win. Game Seven tomorrow. If they win the World Series, there will be Curt Schilling tirbutes throughout New England. As some random ESPN Radio guy said last week, there will be Curt Schilling grade school, Curt Schilling middle school, Curt Schilling School for the Blind, Curt Schilling Culinary Institute, etc. Love that Curt Schilling. While the Yankees may be Pedro's Daddy, Curt Schilling is apparently a Bastard. Either that, or he has no Daddy, which makes him the Baseball Jesus. I can hardly wait for the feature film starring Denzel Washington. posted by Nate on 11:10 PM link
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| Copyright 2004. All
your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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