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Friday, October 15, 2004I've been living with my dad for awhile, helping keep his house straight while he tries to sell it. He might have a serious buyer now, so I've been spending some time looking for my own place. I'm a little torn, since on the one hand I like my job and my friends and I'd like to get a house here; but on the other, it's cold as hell (yes, I realize that that makes no sense) and I wouldn't mind moving to sunny Ahnold-land or something. Cal-ih-vornia, not Austria, that is. Anyway, I probably won't be posting much this weekend. Instead, I'll be going to Open Houses and ranking prospective properties on Trading Spaces interior decorating potential and generally acting like a Big Girl. Maybe I can summon some testosterone and ask manly questions about roofs and gutters and estimated taxes, but if some fabulous window treatments are involved I'm way out. posted by Nate on 10:58 PM link Tuesday, October 12, 2004MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! I went to my mom's house tonight for Dead Cow Parts and the Red Sox game. Once it became an early blowout (never mind the drama later), we flipped to the second Harry Potter movie on cable. Harry goes to save the world again, and this time against a yet-unseen, deadly foe, the Basilisk, kinda like Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws. Only Roy Scheider didn't have to escape from one hundred thousand fucking giant CGI spiders in a magic flying car. Anyway, you could cut the tension with a dull utensil of some manner. Will Harry Potter die? Will Hermione be petrified forever? Will Valdemorte re-enter the mortal world and Darth Vader some shit up? Sure that may mess up the plans for the third movie, but as my mom said, "perhaps he dies and and the end of the movie they reveal that he knocked up Hermione and twelve years later Harry Jr. goes bugfuck on Valdemorte and Malfoy and saves the day. And perhaps Gabriel Byrne could take his shirt off once in a while-- he's such a delicious hunk of man meat." (Okay, that wasn't an exact quote, but you get the idea.) So there is a BMFS (Big Muhfuggin Serpent) out there, and it wants blood. Ice Cube isn't available, so our skinny, nerdy hero is in trouble. Here comes the Big V, there is a cocky villain's exposition speech, then the beast is summoned. When the impressive, sixty foot serpent first torpedoes from the sewer, scaring the crap out of everyone, I bellow "A SNAKE, A SNAKE! AAARGH! SNAAAAAKE!" My sister shot chocolate milk from her nose. Hopefully Harry Potter 3 does not feature the Goatse Monster. Although "Hermione Naked and Petrified Covered in Grits" might become the next Slashdot meme. posted by Nate on 11:29 AM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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