 |
|
 |
|||||
links
|
|
Friday, October 08, 2004America Online is planning to release a new, AOL-branded web browser based on Internet Explorer. This unholy alliance between Microsoft and AOL is part of the Netscape anti-trust settlement which allows AOL to use Internet Explorer royalty-free for seven years. Internet Explorer is unstable and insecure, while AOL has the worst user interfaces ever, steering search results to AOL branded sites, clobbering you over the head with popups for AOL approved merchants, even making it tough to type a URL in the address bar. It's no wonder their users think AOL is the Internet. What untold levels of user-unfriendly suckiness could this provide? I for one think this would be the perfect occasion to bring back Clippy, the friendly "helper" from Microsoft Office. 
Clippy: I see you are using your computer. Would you like to: - IM a thirteen year old girl to chat about Justin Timberlake? - Use the AOL photo archive to find JPEGs of Justin Timberlake? - TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS? - mis-spllee evryethign baldy - Auto-insert the phrase OMG LOL ROTFLMAO =) - Shoot yourself in the head because you are so goddamned stupid posted by Nate on 10:47 PM link Thursday, October 07, 2004I'm still having problems accepting the Chicago Cubs' epic collapse last week. To top it off, there is acrimony with Sammy Sosa, who couldn't hit down the stretch and went AWOL twenty minutes into the final game. There are rumors that he will be traded this offseason, provided Chicago can restructure the 35 million he's owed over the next two years. Now, I like Sammy Sosa. He has been berry berry good to me. I wouldn't mind the Cubs overpaying him for the next couple years due to his electric performances for some craptacular teams-- including the undeserving 1998 playoff club carried by his nine thousand homers-- and the sport of baseball in general. But if he acts like he doesn't give a damn and acts like a spoiled superstar, we've got to trade the guy. This season, Aramis Ramirez, Derek Lee, Moises Alou, and even the gimpy two-month NOMAH! experiment surpassed him as clutch players for the ballclub. Sammy will probably be a Met or Yankee next year. Overall, though, the Cubs' season-long problems can be summed up by two words: Matt Fucking Clement. This guy was awesome all year, with a 3.68 ERA and over a strikeout per inning pitched. Guess what his record was. Nine wins, thirteen losses. Thirteen losses with a 3.68 ERA. Ludicrous. The Cubs, both in Clement's games and down the stretch, were a home-run-hitting, high-strikeout feast-or-famine team. They left guys in scoring position and hit a bunch of solo home runs. If they were a fantasy team they would be awesome, but that doesn't lead to a playoff berth. Time for some moneyball. In the offseason, they need to get some guys who draw walks and get on base, allowing the big bopper-types to drive them in. Second base is a priority, and they might want to acquire a Jerry Hairston or Brian Roberts from Baltimore. Grudz can't hit and Walker plays defense slightly better than I can play defense, and I haven't played since Little League. This (Hairston/Roberts) also would give them some speed, which would add another dimension to the offense. In the outfield, they'll probably re-sign the ageless Moises Alou. Alou is good but makes Cubs fans nervous; he's like a car with 200,000 miles on it. You can probably make due for another year, but you know that one day there will be a spectacular, catastrophic, metal-on-metal grinding, sparks-flying event that cannot be repaired. Cross your fingers and hope that outfielder Matt Murton (acquired in the NOMAH! deal) can take over in 2006. Either that or we can get a journeyman like Reggie "Eight teams in eight years I've hit thirty home runs for but they got rid of me anyway" Sanders. Sanders, by the way, is in the playoffs with the Cubs' chief rival, division champion St. Louis Cardinals. Jerk. The Chicago bullpen should be better with closer Joe Borowski back and LeTroy Hawkins back in his comfortable setup role. The starters will be healthy and awesome. The Cubs will rule, I tell you! Just wait until next year. posted by Nate on 11:11 PM link Tuesday, October 05, 2004While reading my archives, I realized that a few posts ago I referenced Vishnu dragging me into heaven by my hair. I meant to say Krishna. Two completely different dudes, sorta; Krishna was an avatar of Vishnu, but I'm pretty sure in the Hari Krishna religion, Lord Krishna's the one doing the pony-tail pulling into the afterlife. I apologize to those I may have offended. After all, I realize that swankypimp is a major source of news and information for the Hari Krishna community. posted by Nate on 10:55 PM link Mmmmm.... Caffeinated Ginseng beer. posted by Nate on 10:22 PM link
|
|
words
of wisdom
|
|||
| Copyright 2004. All
your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
|||||||
