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Saturday, September 25, 2004Do the Hustle! Doot de doot, doot de doo doot doot... Tonight I caught part of ESPN's new film, Hustle: the Pete Rose Story in between Law And Order: SVU reruns and Kill Bill Vol. 1 on cable. Hustle was okay, though I didn't think the casting was that great. Then again, Brian Dennehey looks nothing like Bobby Knight, but that movie worked, largely because (a) Indiana basketball is compelling, and (b) it was the first and only time ESPN out-F-Bombed Def Comedy Jam. For the record, I think Pete Rose was one of the best players ever. Additionally, he should NOT be in the Hall of Fame. Gambling attacks the integrity of the game, even if he bet for his own team to win. The movie did a decent portrayal of this, as Rose, with twenty grand riding on the game, puts in an exhausted relief pitcher who threw the night before. As an assistant coach points out, this could weaken the bullpen down the road or cause an injury, but for Rose The Gambler, it didn't matter. Eric Davis and Hal Morris were amazing prospects, but it looks like they were held from the starting lineup because Rose wanted Sure Thing veterans instead of unproven youngsters on nights he had money riding on the outcome. A dozen years ago in a highschool gym class football game, I cheated. On a fourth down play I held-- or more accurately, corralled-- Mark Borsch, and we scored a late touchdown. The penalty was never called, and we won by seven. I've always felt a bit guilty: this guy beat me to the edge all game, but when it counted I broke the rules and blocked him and we won. I have no idea what this has to do with Pete Rose, but this is something I feel I must confess to. When you knowingly violate the rules, you should be punished, whether it's by ten yard penalty or lifetime suspension from baseball or John Ashcroft-mandated time in Gitmo. Baseball is a way of life, and Pete Rose is a Threat to Western Civilization, I tell you. If you can't belive in Charlie Hustle, who can you believe in? The American Way is over and done with. Maybe we should just become ferret-loving Nihilists and adopt Canadian currency and become a bunch of girlie-men. It will take some time to adopt to two dollar coins, but I guess it's necesssary. American interlopers-- at least Don Cherry will have something to complain aboot for the next few months. That and Poutine-- I mean, who eats gravy with their french fries? Honestly!?! Canada sucks. posted by Nate on 11:54 PM link Thursday, September 23, 2004Frozen sugar at centre of Milky Way. Important because a chemical reaction with other sugars can form DNA. The mysterious orgin of life is suddenly within reach. Snickers and Butterfinger unavailable for comment. posted by Nate on 11:49 PM link AAAARGHHHH!!!! 
Drugs are bad, m'kay? posted by Nate on 11:29 PM link Wednesday, September 22, 2004The Intifada is over. posted by Nate on 11:27 AM link Tuesday, September 21, 2004Uh oh. After two games, my Detroit Lions are alone in first place in the NFC Central Division. The Lions, the team that has sucked monkey balls since Bobby Layne was the quarterback and Bing Crosby was hip and rebellious. In other news, Rush Limbaugh is dating a CNN reporter, and El Diablo is buying Hans Brinker-like silver ice skates. Well, it's been fun. I guess this whole mortal-coil thing was pretty cool, but it's only a matter of time until Vishnu pulls me bodily into heaven by my pony tail. Hari Krishna, muhfuggers. I knew it would come in handy soon or later. Rapture City, here we come! posted by Nate on 11:41 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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