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Saturday, September 18, 2004I just came across this, though it's a few months old. You're not Dave Chappelle, and you're not funny. To sum up: Dear 6,367,619,884 people, What did the five fingers say to the face? Love, Some Insightful Douchebag posted by Nate on 1:34 AM link Thursday, September 16, 2004ESR is back!!! posted by Nate on 11:35 PM link End of an era, as Joe Morgan Chat Day goes pay-per-view. I would assume that Mike's criticisms are protected by Fair Use laws, though I do not have the n million dollars in legal fees to protect that stance. Another instance of The Man keepin' us down. posted by Nate on 1:01 AM link Wednesday, September 15, 2004Gregg Easterbrook, a.k.a. TMQ, a.k.a. The Most Overqualified Football Writer Ever, returns. Swankypimp.com continues it's ESPN.com boycott, with the exception of the occasional Simmons column (that Chuck Closterman column was one of the funniest things I"ve seen). Anyway, TMQ is in midseason form, as they say, with one exception-- he blatantly plugs his son Grant's highschool football team. Sure, the observation is relevant to the Jags-Bills game, but... What's next, a Peter King-esque Churchill High School Football Note of the Week? Maybe then TMQ could be so kind as to share info on his favorite latte flavors. America wants to know, after all. Between that and getting orgasmic over Jake Plummer's potential breakout season, we'd have a real winner. (It's all in good fun, of course. Peter King is one of my favorite columnists. And I'm not just saying that to get in his barely-legal daughters' pants. They probably take after their dad and are chunky, anyway. Not that that's a big roadblock for me, since the only Action I've seen recently are reruns of the 2000 Fox Network Jay Mohr / Illeana Douglas dark comedy series. Um, I think I've said too much. Editor, please delete the previous paragraph. I'm doing plenty well with the ladies and have no desire to get it on with Peter King's Starbucks-addicted Offspring, really. San Dimas High School Football Rules!!!) posted by Nate on 1:13 AM link Tuesday, September 14, 2004If I knew Bill Simmons' e-mail address, I would ask him the following: if present-day Charles Rogers' collarbone and late-nineties Fred Taylor's groin got in a fight, who would be placed on Injured Reserve first? There's no way to get around it-- The Dread Receiver LeChuck is an utter gimp. A talented gimp, but a gimp nonetheless. I.R. isn't just an Emmy-winning series on NBC, featuring the gorgeous, sublime Maura Tierney. Wait, that's E.R. Never mind. How good would the Lions be if this guy were healthy? If a tree falls in an empty forest, does it make a sound? What is the sound of one hand clapping? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know. posted by Nate on 1:50 AM link Sunday, September 12, 2004The last week or so, I've been watching the CSI reruns on Spike TV. It really cuts into my Diablo II time, and I'm probably 15 levels less than I should be as a result, but on the bright side I'm having naughty daydreams about Jorja Fox collecting my DNA, so it all works out. Today CNN Sports Illustrated has an interview with William Petersen (the actor, not the Giants cornerback). Apparently he started out as a football player who took theater classes to get his GPA up. So I took three of these classes and fell in love with the people in the theater department. I never did play any ball. The theater department eventually gave me a scholarship... And there were no girls on the football team. All the guys in theater department were gay and all the girls were horny. Gil Grissom, Mack Daddy and honorary Swanky Pimp. Hannibal Lechter unavailable for comment. posted by Nate on 5:13 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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