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Friday, March 05, 2004Martha Stewart was found guilty. Let the stupid "decorating your jail cell" jokes commence! Like, "Today, we'll be fashioning a lovely shiv, just in time for the springtime riots." Basically, the guv'mint convicted her of lying about doing something (insider trading) they couldn't prove she did. It's sort of like RICO cases where they convict mobsters of "racketeering," not of drug trafficking, pimping, murder, tax evasion, or other mobster-like things. Only James Gandolfini don't make no motherf#%king votive candles. Since the beginning, this has seemed like a political hit to me. Martha is a well-known figure, despised by people who think that she's an uppity wench who doesn't know what it's like to be working class and unable to spend the time and money making decorative kneedlework. Rather than put away the big time swindlers like Ken Lay or Bernie Ebbers, I suspect that people with money and influence decided to let Martha rot in prison while portraying a "we are tough on white collar crime" attitude to the media. posted by Nate on 11:57 PM link Wednesday, March 03, 2004One of the guys from work is trying to get me into MMORPGs. We downloaded the Horizons trial, and right now I'm starting a cat person. No, that doesn't mean that my character is a reclusive eighty year old woman who reeks of stale tuna and shares a house with ten of her "babies"-- I'm an archer who is a leopard/human hybrid. It looks pretty cool so far, though I don't where I'll get the hours to dedicate to kill monsters so I get the experience to level up, which gives me the skill points needed to kill tougher monsters to get more experience to level up. All for only $12.95 per month. Yay! Maybe I'm just sour on these types of games since I got Ultima Online spring semester in my senior year of college. I only needed eight credits to graduate and had a lot of time on my hands, so I figured that it would be a fun time waster. I was wrong. After thirty days of killing wild dogs and pigs, and getting my rear kicked by jaguars-- let alone monsters--, I let my subscription expire. My friend plays Dark Age of Camelot, and says he'll give me the 7 day trial disk (which he got when he bought it) later this week. If I suddenly stop posting for a month, you'll know that I enjoyed it. posted by Nate on 12:31 AM link Monday, March 01, 2004Boy, the weather here has been tremendous. It was upper fifties yesterday and is supposed to get warmer this week. Rather than huddle indoors and brace myself for another month of bone snapping cold and the accompanying aching joints, I went for two leisurely strolls through the neighborhood. Birds are chirping, dogs are barking, children are squealing with, well, childish glee. Impressive, driveway-blocking snowbanks have receded quicker than Paul Simon's hairline, and their remains are part of a swift current flowing through our run-off creek towards the nearby river. The snowbanks, that is, not Paul's hair follicles. If Mother Nature started wearing a ballcap all the time in public, even with a suit or tuxedo, then my bad metaphor truly has been stretched too far. I digress. Speaking of Mother Nature, someone must have slipped her a mickey. Supremely twisted on roofies, she must have forgotten that this is the first week of March, not the middle of April. It is sixty degrees and sunny, with thunderstorms looming this weekend. I always thought that the almanac saying was that April showers bring May flowers, not March showers bring April flowers. Then again, I have not been date raped by Father Time, so I'll cede the argument to Mother Nature. Okay, that metaphor also got out of hand. Sorry. It was either that or make a lame joke about how I went to school with a girl named May Flowers, and how April Showers was the star of a scandalous pee-crazy German adult film. Try to get that image out of your head, will you? See, my ill-conceived sex crimes joke was just protecting you. And on a lighter note, Paul Simon's formal-wear ballcap! posted by Nate on 10:24 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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