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Off-Wing

Sarah Michelle Gellar is moderately attractive.

Enjoy a picture of a fine-looking Wildebeest.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Thanks a lot, Josef Stalin! An army of ten million mutant crabs, brought to Europe by Stalin in the 1930's, is rampaging its way down the north European coast, eating everything in sight. With no natural predators, these twenty five pound, three foot buggers are laying waste to Norway's fishing industry.

They can take off a man's finger with a snap of a claw. But on the bright side, they taste great with drawn butter.

Because it's Northern Europe, the government is fretting about Man ruining The Ecology and is restricting widespread crab trapping. Even though the crabs themselves are a non-native species causing serious environmental damage, and may well destroy the Norwegian cod population. Gotta love the evironmentalist whackos.

Coming soon to a lake near you:


MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Friday, February 27, 2004

Sunday, February 22, 2004

I saw Big Head Todd & the Monsters last night in Chicago. The theater's sound system was a bit off, muddying the sound, but all in all it was a great show in an intimate venue. They came with their "big band," which features a second percussionist, a keyboard player, and background vocalist/diva Hazel Miller, and played for two and a half hours with a thirty minute break.

The second percussionist gave the audience a heaping helping of Walkenesque cowbell.

They really ripped through their old material, the crowd going nuts over Todd's guitar solos. They also did a good job mixing in the newer slower stuff as a change of pace; I liked but didn't love their last two albums, but the songs were dynamite live. "Dirty Juice" and "Blues Conquistadors" killed, and "Julianna" (from Riviera) was especially memorable. They played a few surprises like "Dinner with Ivan" from 1990's Midnight Radio, and "Flanders' Fields" from their debut album Another Mayberry. Maybe a hundred people own that record, myself included.

BHTM played a lot of songs from Beautiful World, but did not include "If You Don't Slow Down," which I thought would be a given with Hazel Miller on the tour. She popped in and out as a backup singer, and brought the house down with her vocals on on the first encore, "It's Alright."

There were a few "wardrobe malfunctions," with Todd breaking guitar strings and straps. At one point, they were changing guitars a few times mid-song. There was even a comical moment where a roadie rushed on stage to get Todd a new axe, only to have the strap of the old one break off and get tangled around Todd's shoulders.

All in all, this concert was freaking awesome. Like I was told, this band is great live. Go to their concerts and buy their albums. For every concert you do not attend, I shall kill you. </stewie>

words of wisdom
from Mr. Barry White

Josef Stalin killed over 20 million people. What evil deeds have you accomplished today?