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Friday, December 26, 2003What a crappy present. Heh heh. To keep with the theme of the night, downloading music is downloading Communism!!! posted by Nate on 12:15 AM link "Long, Self-Indulgent Rambling Post On Football" NFL.com ran a feature on the new breed of multipurpose running backs the day after CNNSI's Duane Cross ran the first of many pieces on this year's NFL Draft. The, last night, Oregon State's Steven Jackson placed a can of whoop-ass under New Mexico State's Christmas tree. Since Detroit lacks a halfback and Jackson figures to be the best of a good group of runners, here's my early analysis of what they need Santa to bring down the chimney. (That's the end of the Christmas presents metaphor, I promise. Besides, if I make a comment about stuffing stockings, Matt Millen would probably call me derogatory names.) Basically, the Lions have two main needs: Offense and Defense. (Buh-dum-bum. Don't forget to tip your waitress.) Seriously, though, their Special Teams are pretty good. Dre Bly and Eddie Drummond and Reggie Swinton do a good job of returning kicks, and kicker Jason Hanson remains very accurate, even though he has lost some of his range as he gets older. The defense is better than I expected, with Big Daddy Dan Wilkinson making a comeback player of the year type performance stuffing the run. According to Football Outsiders, Detroit is one of the top rushing defenses in the league. Of course, basing next year's success on a 32 year old journeyman doesn't seem wise, so they might want to grab a large immobile body in the mid rounds of the draft. Paired with the large, immobile Shawn Rogers, they could be very, very good. The always good DE Robert Porcher and gimpy DT Luther Ellis are getting to resemble a Rolling Stones concert-- old talented guys who aren't anywhere near what they used to be, and unlike Mick and Keef should be replaced The linebackers are solid, with free agent pickup Earl Holmes clogging the middle. Also, Boss Bailey is significantly better against the run than I thought, though he isn't yet the pass rushing beast I figured he'd be. Speaking of pass rushers, after a promising rookie campaign, DE Kalimba Edwards has done two things this year-- Jack and Squat-- as has third round pick Cory Redding. The Lions have an exceedingly poor pass rush. This puts pressure on their mediocre secondary to cover their men longer, frequently leading to disaster. They might want to invest a first rounder on a defensive end or get one in free agency (all I want for Christmas is Jevon Kearse). The secondary has been up and down. The aforementioned Dre Bly has exceeded my expectations, becoming the playmaker the Motor City Kitties' defense has lacked. The rest of the secondary is average to below-average, and it should be a priority in free agency (Champ Bailey, Charles Woodson, Mario Edwards, etc.). Andre Goodman is a solid nickel back, as is the injured Chris Cash, but neither is a true #2 corner. Otis Smith has been godawful as a free agent. Their safeties are exceedingly bad, though Brian Walker has put together a decent season and Terrence Holt has shown flashes. If they draft a safety in the mid rounds and/or let Holt start, they'll be much better. On offense, they need to retool their offensive line; they can't run the ball at all. They hardly ever give up a sack thanks to Joey Harrington's tendency to dump the ball off to his backs (another reason to draft Jackson), but are worst in the league in run blocking. They need a big road grader guard or two. The free agent class is decent, with restricted free agent Roberto Garza the best among them. Since Detroit QB Mike McMahon is also restricted, they might want to give up McMahon for a fourth rounder, then send that pick to Atlanta for Garza. Halfback is the glaring need, and they should nab Jackson or, if they wait until the second round, Chris Perry. Both are great catching the ball out of the backfield and should fit in well in Mariucci's offense. James Stewart has been consistently productive, but with an injury and a huge contract, he's probably gone next year. They also need a wide receiver or three. Charles Rogers is a good #1, and Az Hakim is a solid #3. Other than that, they suck (that means you, Bill Schroeder). Since this is a very deep wideout draft, they can get a very good player in the second round. So here are my draft suggestions, excluding trades (and I'll have you know that I kick ass at the General Manager Mode of Madden 2004, so take this seriously): First Round: Steven Jackson, RB, Oregon State Second Round: Ernest Wilford, WR, Virginia Tech Third Round: Bo Schobel, DE, TCU Fourth Round: Will Allen, S, Ohio State Fifth Round: Aaron McConnell, DT, Pittsburgh State Sixth Round: Ben West, LB, Minnesota Seventh Round: Nathan Lawrie, TE, Yale posted by Nate on 12:07 AM link Thursday, December 25, 2003I'm dreaming of a Red Christmas. Sure Santa wears a red suit, but who thought that Jesus' birth would be a mere front for Communism? Like many Americans, I gave and received a number of low-cost trinkets manufactured by Chinese slave labor, and now I'm sitting down to enjoy a glass of wine and a Cuban cigar. Not only am I supporting the Beijing oppressors and Castroites, but the Classic Rock radio station keeps playing John Lennon's "So it is Christmas" over and over. I never realized how naive that song is until recently. "War is over / if you want it" ? I guess this means I should sit back and do nothing while a poisonous ideology murders millions of innocent peasants in Southeast Asia in the name of Revolution. Because, if I simply wanted peace badly enough, it would emerge fully-formed from a human condition evolved to desire dominion over one's fellows. Too bad I'm a McCarthyite Warmonger; otherwise the world would be a mystical place of perpetual Love and Joy. It would be like Christmas every day, only without the devisive Jesus stuff. I'm turning off the radio now. I know; I'll put on my Christmas gift, the new Audioslave album. But wait-- guitarist Tom Morello was formerly with Rage Against the Machine, who were quite literally Communists. (One of the funniest things I've ever read was a Rolling Stone review of Rage's 1996 East European Tour. The locals were decidedly nonplussed about the band's political agenda, given that they had spent fifty years trying to get rid of oppressive Communist rule.) Good thing Santa brought me the Steely Dan box set, or I'd be utterly fscked. posted by Nate on 10:31 PM link Happy Saturnalia. No cross-dressing drunken Roman orgies figured in the celebration here, but since my parents were involved, that's probably for the best. posted by Nate on 6:58 PM link Wednesday, December 24, 2003When good Santas go bad. posted by Nate on 11:59 PM link The continuing controversy over Bjorn Lomborg's book The Skeptical Environmentalist has led me to this speech by author Michael Crichton. In it, he argues that the public believes in things like Global Warming and Nuclear Winter for the same reasons that it believes in Aliens-- as an article of faith rather than as a matter of science. In the last forty years public policy matters have moved science from being rational inquiry triumphing over superstition to "pure speculation in quasi-scientific trappings," which only fuels more superstitious thought. On the 1982 TTAPS report on Nuclear Winter, Crichton says: According to Sagan and his coworkers, even a limited 5,000 megaton nuclear exchange would cause a global temperature drop of more than 35 degrees Centigrade, and this change would last for three months. The greatest volcanic eruptions that we know of changed world temperatures somewhere between .5 and 2 degrees Centigrade. Ice ages changed global temperatures by 10 degrees. Here we have an estimated change three times greater than any ice age. One might expect it to be the subject of some dispute. But Sagan and his coworkers were prepared, for nuclear winter was from the outset the subject of a well-orchestrated media campaign...Once you abandon strict adherence to what science tells us, once you start arranging the truth in a press conference, then anything is possible. In one context, maybe you will get some mobilization against nuclear war. But in another context, you get Lysenkoism. In another, you get Nazi euthanasia. The danger is always there, if you subvert science to political ends. He goes on to discuss second hand smoke and other "scientific facts." As The Instapundit might say, read the whole thing. posted by Nate on 11:30 PM link Monday, December 22, 2003National Review has an interesting article on Christianity in China: the history, the ongoing spread despite persecution, and the foreign policy implications of a Christianized China. The article seems a tad breathlessly Pollyanna-ish in its analysis (in a couple years the people in power will stop oppressing religious groups and then the 1% of China's population that believes in Christ will rise to key government positions and then China will support the same foreign policy goals as the U.S.!!!), but it's still a good read. Something I just thought of: In America we celebrate the birth of Jesus by buying each other DVD players. In China, they celebrate the birth of Jesus by gathering in underground prayer services, hoping the police don't show up and beat them to death, throwing the survivors in camps. Although the University of Michigan Anthropolgy Department taught me to be sensitive to other societies' cultures and customs, I must say I like our way better. posted by Nate on 10:50 PM link Steven Den Beste opines on Libya abandoning its secret WMD program. The idea that this was somehow a triumph of diplomacy and soft power pressure (e.g. sanctions), as is variously claimed by China, Russia, France, and Solana at the EU doesn't stand up to the light of day. Why was it the British (and indirectly the Americans) that Libya contacted, not China or Russia or France or the EU or the UN? Why did Qaddafi begin his diplomacy last March, and not earlier or later? And why the final agreement now, rather than last August or next August?... Why did this happen? What was different? It isn't too difficult to figure it out. What was different was that someone had finally gone beyond diplomacy and soft power and was poised to crush a dictator who had been doing the same kinds of things that Qaddafi had been doing. Qaddafi didn't want to be the next crushee. Exactly. posted by Nate on 10:32 PM link Sunday, December 21, 2003I'm baack! In case you forgot, I'm Nate, and I run a website. I don't post on that website often enough, so I can see how you forgot about me. I'm posting maybe once a week now, so you might have gotten me confused with another occasional blogger like The Hosemonster. Actually, he's been outposting me lately, much to my chagrin. Maybe it's one of those "Freaky Friday" deals where we reverse roles and stuff. If I start posting pictures of scantily clad models and rambling on about The Swanky Pimpette, then you'll know that the transition is complete. Actually, Swanky Pimpette sounds like the name of a really fly smurf. But come to think of it, being the only female smurf, Smurfette literally acted as her own pimp. Sort of like Priceline.com, as she named her own price. "No way I'm knocking boots with that fruit Vanity; he's only offering me a mirror! Jokey's giving me three of those exploding present deals, and Handy offered to clean my gutters-- both figuratively and literally! And Brainy will give me his entire library if I give him a smurf job. Supply and demand, m'hijo." But I digress. It's not like I don't want to update the site. Every day I think of something I want to share, like how I heard Neil Diamond singing "O Holy Night" on the radio. Isn't he Jewish? (I'm not sure, but I always thought he was.) And don't get me started on the Barbra Streisand Christmas albums. After Yentl, she doesn't have much credibility on the Christ Our Savior Is Born front. Oh well, I'll see what I can do on posting more. Maybe that means getting disproportionally excited about Rex Grossman, since I own him in a keeper fantasy league. Or maybe that means disparaging ill conceived Christmas albums (like the gangsta rap Christmas on Death Row. "Merry Christmas, beeyotch. I'm gonna shoot you in the face."). Or maybe that means posting more pornographic smurf material. In any case, a winnar is you! posted by Nate on 11:44 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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