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Friday, November 14, 2003Super Urgent Breaking Hot Stove Baseball News! In the first trade of the off-season, the San Francisco Giants acquired catcher A. J. Pierzinski from Minnesota for three minor leaguers. The minor leaguers include left-handed pitcher Francisco Liriano and the superbly named Boof Bonser. I like saying "Boof Bonser." In fact, I wrote this blog post just so I could type "Boof Bonser" four or five times. The name sounds like some Crazy Australian Outback Guy: Coming soon to a theater near you, it's Yahoo Serious starring in Boof Bonser: Kangaroo Dentist. Criquey! A major problem with acquiring Boof Bonser is that, judging by the fan noise, you would never know how well he was pitching. Are they booing or are they chanting "Boof?" Especially in a domed stadium. How could you tell? However, Boof was Scott Howard's neighbor / love interest in Teen Wolf, and that turned out for the best, so maybe that's what Minnesota is banking on. Boof Bonser. I love it. posted by Nate on 7:58 AM link Wednesday, November 12, 2003Harry: What's the matter? Sally (hysterical): I'm gonna be forty!!! Harry: ...In eight years. Sally: Well... It's out there! Happy Birthday to Me. Today I turned 26, a ripe old age were I in Arthurian England or ancient Egypt. I would be a wise village elder or something. Then again, were I alive in those epochs I wouldn't be authoring a web blog or, say, using the bathroom indoors, so I guess it's an even trade. Lately, though, I've been feeling old-- throwing out my chronically gimpy back, hearing one of my favorite songs on an Oldies radio station, thinking how if I hold on for a few more years I'll have enough money saved to quit my job and retire to Idaho and write full time. I suppose it's appropriate since I'm Middle Aged now. You heard me, middle aged. I plan on dying young, just like John F. Kennedy or Robert F. Kennedy or John F. Kennedy Jr. But not like Ted. Not Ted. Dear God, why not Ted? He gets outrageously tanked and drives the General Lee into one of those slow motion barrell rolls the camera is so fond of, yet God decides "Screw it, I already got the two genius brothers; I'll let him turn into freaking Aquaman for the night and cheat Evil Grim Reaping Homer. In fact, I think I'll treat America to thirty additional years of increasingly senile paranoid Socialist ranting and education bills that spend more taxpayer money than a Congressional fact-finding mission to high-rent Thai massage parlors." posted by Nate on 10:33 PM link Tuesday, November 11, 2003TMQ Returns!!! posted by Nate on 7:57 PM link Sunday, November 09, 2003The third film of a trilogy is always the hardest. You have to tie together what the audience has seen in the other two films, plus capture a sense of finality. Also, you have to make it entertaining and self-contained; had you not seen the other two Star Wars movies, you exit Jedi thinking that We won, we won, we shot the BB Gun, the rebellion succeeds, and Han thereby gets to go on an extended vacation on Endor and Make It with Carrie Fisher. Had you not seen the other two Matrix films, you exit Revolutions thinking What the Hell Was That!?! I liked Matrix: Revolutions, though it was was the weakest of the three films. Part one was very good, introducing Gnostic themes about the nature of reality but not bludgeoning the audience over the head with it. There was also all manner of Bullet Time Ass-Kicking Kung Fu Action. Part Two was the Exposition, and even though 90% of the Internet Fan Boys hated the French philosophy, I found it to be a well done treatise on theories of choice and free will. Part three races to a conclusion with more BTAKKFA, only it revolves around some sort of symbolic Neo=Jesus paradigm that is implied but never stated. Also, it doesn't delve into why the machines let the humans live (the battery theory in Matrix 1 makes no sense), whether there is a Matrix within a Matrix, who the Oracle and the Architect are, etc. Instead, Smith is Kinda Like Satan, Neo is Psuedo Christ, and they beat the Everloving Shit out of each other on a Dark and Stormy Night. Really it concludes a SciFi trilogy by removing the Science. Although things have a computer-age bend to them if you analyze it yourself, there is a definite mythological / religious symbolism that permeates Matrix: Revolutions. The audience can reason that Neo has somehow hacked the wireless communications protocol that controls the Squid Things, but all they see is him holding up his hand and imposing his Messianic Will upon them. He can hax0r reality (performing a miracle) and is L337 liek J35U5. Whoa. Maybe I'll see it again next weekend at matinee prices and pick out some of the visuals that shed light on the plot (e.g. the MOBIL sign at the train station that implies that Neo is in LIMBO). Until then, I'll chalk Revolutions up as a decent film with great special effects. Not bad for the third film of a series, but not great either. It's no Return of the Jedi, but then again, it's not Godfather 3 either. posted by Nate on 11:33 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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