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Saturday, September 27, 2003The Cubs won the first game of a doubleheader 4-2 over Pittsburgh. Houston's loss to the suddenly frisky Milwaukee Brewers means that Chicago can clinch a playoff berth with one more victory. First playoff appearance in fourteen years. I remember the last time like it was yesterday; in fact, I wrote about it at the beginning of baseball season. In that post I also wrote, "No matter what Porno Moustache Jayson Stark says, we won't contend this season." The lesson, as always: Bill Simmons is an idiot. At least I'm not the only person who says something inanely stupid. The Fox Sports lady just said of the Cubs' victory, "Maybe Destiny is happening to us again." What the Bustamante does that mean? First, "destiny" implies inevitibility. If destiny "is happening," then there is no possibility that anything else can happen. Destiny says that all things are predetermined, and therefore nothing else could happen. Ergo, the qualifying word "maybe" makes no sense; either destiny exists and it is happening, or it does not exist and is not. In this conext "Maybe destiny is happening" makes as much sense as "Maybe the sun will rise tomorrow." Secondly, destiny's always happening (or not) is a universal condition; if it exists, it's there always. Remember Oedipus trying to go against his destiny? His struggles only moved him toward his fate, since destiny doesn't come on and off. It is "always on," like a cable modem or Robin Williams. The word "again" is therefore unnecessary, since it implies that destiny selectively occurs. Okay, that's nitpicky, but "Maybe Destiny is happening to us again" is a blindingly dumb phrase. Has The Fox Sports lady been smoking pot? Reading bad Hallmark card poetry? Is she a devout Calvinist? Enquiring minds want to know. UPDATE: No local TV station carries the game, and Major League baseball wants me to pay $10 to listen to the radio broadcast over the Internet. Um, yeah. Way to generate fan interest in the game, Baseball; were you to offer free access to broadcasts of pennant race and playoff games, I might be more inclined to buy a subscription next year, having demoed your service and being more interested in the sport and all. What's next, a tie in the All Star game? UPDATE 2: Cubs win, 7 - 2. I watched half the game at my mom's (she has a different cable provider and gets Fox Sports Chicago). Rejoicing ensued. ("Is ensue a real word?" "Shut up, Max.") posted by Nate on 4:25 PM link I've been gone for two weeks. Sorry for the lack of posts. I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to share with you, but some judges told me I couldn't blog them until March, lest I disenfranchise swanky pimp fans that did not have Internet access. Or something like that. Or not. I'll have all manner of booty for ya this week though. Um, that's booty as in "Pirate Treasure," not booty as in "DRUNKEN WEBCAM WH0r3Z DO IT ALL XOXOLOL345!!!" More nonsense in a bit... posted by Nate on 3:01 PM link
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your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
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