 |
|
 |
|||||
links
|
|
Friday, June 20, 2003D'oh! Apparently, late night computer gaming changes the melatonin levels in your brain, contributing to a poor night's sleep. 53.7 percent of Internet users in Japan had delayed bedtimes and 45 percent of them had shortened sleeping hours. These statistics suggest that performing a video display terminal (VDT) task influences the sleep-wake cycle and human biological rhythms. My college experience as a non-sleeping Diablo addict tells me they're on to something. My college experience as a Diablo addict also tells me that, after ten hours or so, your right hand will shrivel into a mouse-shaped, arthritic claw. I actually kept my desk next to an open window so the freezing winter air would numb my hand and dull the pain so I could play longer. I brewed triple-strength coffee made with Josta (a Pepsi energy drink that was like Red Bull on steroids) instead of water so I could stay up. Oh, Diablo. I could stop any time, I swear. Sniff. MEM-reees!!! something something Moon-LIGHT!!! something something MEM-reees. Of the way we were... posted by Nate on 9:42 PM link Fidel Castro was punked by Florida DJs pretending to be Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez. "Enrique Santos and Joe Ferrero of Spanish-language El Zol, FM 95.7 used snippets of the conversation they had with Chavez in January to fool Cuban functionaries into connecting them with Castro himself." After they started insulting the dictator, calling him a terrorist and assassin, Castro began spewing profanity at the DJs. Maybe next we should send Ashton Kucher over there to trick them into sending Elian Gonzalez back. And if things went wrong, I bet his G.I. Jane girlfriend could kick a Casto-ite ass or two. Either that, or Fidel will imprison her in El Barra de San Elmo, where she'll get strung out on sex, cocaine, and 1980's greed until Rob Lowe has to break into her apartment and rescue her. posted by Nate on 9:08 PM link Thursday, June 19, 2003The HoseMonster has a funny article on ThunderCats. I was never into the cartoon much, prefering He-Man, Transformers, and MASK. However, all sorts of Cats are cool, except when they set up you the bomb. Throw in HoseMonster's gratuitous cheesecake photos, and a winner is you. UPDATE: The link doesn't work (blogger archive problem). Go to his site and scroll down about three posts until you see Lion-o. posted by Nate on 2:10 AM link Wednesday, June 18, 2003I broke out Photoshop tonight and came up with this Summer's Blockbuster, The Incredible Hatch. "Enjoy!" posted by Nate on 5:46 PM link Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Every time I think that the new Conservative movement has broken free from its Nixonite Republican roots, their spokesmen have to prove me wrong. This week both Bill O'Reilly (who I generally like) and Orrin Hatch made statements aimed at regulating the Internet to protect Old Media. First of all, people said means things about Bill O'Reilly on the World Wide Web, so we need to regulate it. "these net people get away with all kinds of stuff is that they work for no one. They put stuff up with no restraints... The Internet has become a sewer of slander and libel, an unpatrolled polluted waterway, where just about anything goes." I think Bill O'Reilly is a doofus. There, I said it; I guess that makes me a Trafficker in Perversity and Falsehoods. And with Impunity, to boot. Talk about "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day!" The real reason O'Reilly feels this way isn't because of childmolesterchatroom.com, it's because he is a traditional network news guy. He is Old Media, a Cronkite-like Presenter of the Facts (TM). By contrast, the Internet blurs the line between the consumers and the producers. This bothers those in the traditional power structure, and they will try to regulate the Internet into impotency. "Feel free to have a website full of digital photos of your kittens, but steer clear of the controversial stuff. What do you need to have a political weblog for?"they ask. "Let us do your editorializing for you. And thereby ensure our existing power. To protect the children." The Council of Europe is working on something that would do just that. Legislation would mandate mandate a "right of reply," which would force all "online media" to give equal time to those people whom they criticize. So if I call O'Reilly a doofus, the law would force me to post his rebuttal, or at least a link to it. Sounds like a good idea at first, until you consider that I would have to spend time checking my e-mail in case his minions mail me a response. After wading through myriad advertisements for WebCam Wenches Refinancing My Mortgage, I find ten rebuttals from people claiming to be Bill O'Reilly. I then have to spend more time verifying which is the real rebuttal. Now imagine I run a huge website like Instapundit, and have hundreds of public figures mailing me rebuttals every day. Unless I treat my website like a full-time job, there is no way I can run a decently sized opinion site. Contoversial sites die out, except for those opinion sites financed by traditional media companies (like National Review Online, The New Republic, etc.) O'Reilly might want the U.S. to have similar regulations. Fox News: We Report, You Decide. Only Don't Publish What You Decide On the Internet, You Damn Anarchist, You. The next entry in the category "Dumb Thing Said by a Crusty Old White Guy" belongs to Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. Hatch said Tuesday he favors developing technology to remotely destroy the computers of people who illegally download music from the Internet. Um, yeah. Copyright is not a property right-- it is a temporary monopoly granted to promote science and the useful arts. Society advances through not the lone genius but through extensive idea borrowing, where the best artists and scientists modify the ideas of their predecessors. Copyright was envisioned by the Founders as an incentive to get people to publish their works. The author was granted the exclusive right to profit from his works for 15 or 20 years, and then it went into the public domain for future generations to draw from. Therefore, Violating copyright is not theft. It is a civil matter, not a criminal one (mass distribution of copyrighted materials is different). In any case, it is a legal matter to be decided in court. Senator Hatch's plan is a clear violation of due process: the government is granting private parties the authority to act independently of law enforcement to destroy another person's private property. Without a warrant. This is state-sanctioned vigilante justice. Hatch knows this. He also knows that there is no way that this plan would ever be implemented. This statement is intentionally outrageous, and will probably lead to a "compromise" which will include mandatory hardware Digital Rights Management in all computers and stereo components. A huge win for Big Media. Copyright law now favors entertainment companies instead of scientific and social progress. Copyright terms now exceed most people's life expectancies. (Lawrence Lessig recently-- unsuccessfully-- argued to the Supreme Court that the Copyright Term Extension Act established perpetual copyright.) Over the past twenty years, Republicans have argued that they are the party dedicated to freedom from big government intrusion. But, like Nixon, they've decided that big government intrusion can be a good thing, as long as it is big government intrusion that furthers their policy aims or reelection bids. I, for one, am a voter who "Won't be fooled again." posted by Nate on 3:03 PM link Sorry for not posting yesterday; I'm a bit under the weather. It's probably the monkeypox. I knew I shouldn't have bought that pet prairiedog, even if it was on sale. By the way, am I the only one who, upon hearing the nightly news talking heads go on and on about this Dread Disease, gets 1950's Oldies tunes stuck in my head? For example, replacing the lyrics to "Lollipop" with "Monkeypox, monkeypox, oooh monkey monkeypox. Monkeypox. Bah-dum-bum-bum." Or that "Who Put the Bomp" song only with: Who put the Monk in the monkey monkeypox? Who put the 'Pox in the Ghana Ghana rat? Who put the rat near the prairie prairiedog? The 'dog who just bit me? Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand He made my baby Get lymphadenopathy posted by Nate on 12:32 PM link Monday, June 16, 2003Remember, kids-- Don't drink and blog. The preceding post is a testament to that. If you're not careful, you'll end up penning a semi-coherent love letter to a public figure. And then you'll have a weird liquor-induced dream about Lileks becoming a best selling author and touring the world as a stand-up comic. With a huge white man's Afro. Later, you realize it's all a CIA plot to get him close enough to assassinate Kim Jong Il. With a vicious attack lobster that hides in the Afro. Like I said, don't drink and blog. At least one good thing came out of the dream. Afro Lileks says to Kim Jong Il, "You look like they genetically combined Gilbert Gottfried and SpongeBob SquarePants. Now my lobster will bust blah-blah in your hootie-hoo." Heh. posted by Nate on 9:27 AM link I had to register at the Star Tribune website in order to read James Lileks' BackFence Column. Not that I entirely mind, but it's a tad annoying. I assume that the ST had to start doing this because of Lilek's recent (last 18 months) popularity due to his pithy writing after the terror attacks and the subsequent links from Instapundit; they probably needed to upgrade their hosting plan, and decided that they could justify it to the suits if they got all New York Times on that ass. Or something. Or not. Not that I'm a Johnny-Come-Lately to the James Lileks Experience; I happened across the leet cyber version of the Gallery of Regrettable Food back in 2000. I quickly discovered that he's one of the best humor writers around and updates his page daily. I think he is to web writing what George Clooney is to acting-- I'm not gay, but if I were I would totally go out with him. Or something. Or not. Anyway, I registered in order to read the column. I'm not that concerned about my privacy being invaded, and figure that it's a small price to pay for free content. The Black Helicopter and Illuminati Paranoia Gene must have skipped a generation (Sorry, Mom). I didn't give the Star Tribune 100% accurate information, though. I used my usual nom-de-cyber, Ann Arbor resident Edward Elgar. Sir Edward Elgar. That classical music d00d who composed "Pomp and Circumstance," the graduation song. It's a long story. Back in college I took a music appreciation course, and one of the assignments was to write a concert review. My performance happened to have a few Elgar pieces in it. While researching background information on the Internet, I happened across www.elgar.org, an entire web site devoted to Edward Elgar. A massive web site devoted to Edward Elgar, which even included a photo of Elgar and his pet dog. As my buddy Ryan said, "These people really must love their Elgar." Indeed. It became a running joke between me and my friends, about how cool Elgar is. "Who is The Biznatch?" my friend Josh would ask. "Elgar is the Biznatch!" we would emphatically respond. And he is! Elgar is the most biznatch-iest biznatch in the whole muhfuggin wizzety-world! Or something. Or not. posted by Nate on 1:42 AM link
|
|
words
of wisdom
|
|||
| Copyright 2004. All
your stolen base are belong to Rickey Henderson. Questions or comments? Email nate@swankypimp.com |
|||||||
