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Saturday, April 19, 2003Only one week until the NFL Draft! I love the draft; not only is it an excuse to sit on the couch and consume multiple cases of beer (and who needs an excuse?), but it is the time of the year when fans of terrible teams can hope about the future. In many ways, it's similar to Cubs' fans obsessing over their minor league prospects; well if Choi and Hill work out, and our starting pitching is good enough, we have a shot... I'm a Lion's fan, and I was so pumped up last year over Detroit taking franchise QB Joey Harrington that I treated myself to some decent-quality cigars and cognac. Who cares that most of these guys-- even the high-profile Tony Mandarich types-- will never pan out? Like most things in life, it's the anticipation that's the best part. Now that we have the World Wide Web, I can spend weeks poring over the workout numbers of little known players, acting like a mini-Mel Kiper Jr., sans the Eddie Munster hairdo. Wow, check this out: the dude from Alabama A&M has a ridiculous forty time! That kid from BYU ran the cone drill as if he's on crack! The Northwestern lineman is a bench press whore! That corner from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo can shuttle-run some serious shit! Right now, for example, I have ten Mozilla browser tabs open with draft info, while listening to a Mel Kiper audio stream from the ESPN web site. I've been doing this for several days, and plan on doing it all next week, too. This year, my buddy George and his brother in law and I will draft our own rookies and tabulate points for the season. We did this a few years ago, but one of the guys mysteriously moved to Ohio without leaving us his phone number, so the second season never got off the ground (thanks, Rod). As a result, I don't want to go into who I think will be the steals of the draft yet, since I know George reads my site. However, I'll say that Ryan Leaf would be a good choice, and he'd better grab him before I do... posted by Nate on 4:45 AM link Random things that occur to you at four in the morning when you can't sleep: "Shock and Awe" sound like team nicknames from Major League Soccer. "...The MLS season hits full stride, as Ricardo "La Mula Enojada" Chavez and the Chicago Shock take on goalkeeper Timmy Chatsworth-Peckingsmith and the Los Angeles Awe. This Sunday at four, only on ESPN6..." posted by Nate on 3:55 AM link Friday, April 18, 2003Watched the Chicagoland local news last night, and found out more news on the White Sox fan who assaulted the umpire two days ago. This joker spent the afternoon getting drunk over at Wrigley during the Cubs' game before drinking even more at the night game at Comiskey. As if running onto the field and assaulting a Marine reservist weren't stupid enough, he spent $6.50 a piece getting hosed on skanky lukewarm ballpark beer all day. Why not sneak an eight dollar travel flask into the park, and save $150 for bail money? As my dad would say, "People never plan to fail; they fail to plan." posted by Nate on 4:02 AM link There's an interesting thread on Slashdot about gender roles in computer games. The original article is here. Lara Croft's 3D rendered polygonal boobies are prominently involved. An interesting observation the author makes is that being the "party leader" in MMORPGs is easier with a male avatar. People obey her more, don't cause trouble, etc. I'm not sure if this is the social dynamic of the players, or if the anonymity of the net makes it easier for her to be assertive/ go against her real world personality type. Interesting read. posted by Nate on 3:48 AM link Thursday, April 17, 2003The Wings lost to Anaheim last night, swept out of the playoffs. Or were they? Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf smells a conspiracy in my latest article. PS-- The web host that I keep my images on has been acting wonky the last few days; I have a DNS server forward swankypimp.com to the website of a client of mine who gave me some free space. For the time being, I'll edit the html here to reflect their real location. posted by Nate on 6:20 AM link Found this tidbit in the New York Post about Amer al-Saadi, the Iraqi scientific advisor who surrendered last week: While building a chemical testing range near Baghdad, "He courted German assistance with the project because 'you Germans have great expertise in the killing of Jews with gas,' he told Karlheinz Lohs, a chemical-weapons expert from the former East Germany, in 1991." Sing with me now, in your best Edwin Starr voice: WAR (UNGH) WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? (Absolutely nothin... Except for getting rid of fascist, genocidal nutjobs.) SING IT AGAIN posted by Nate on 4:16 AM link Wednesday, April 16, 2003Hrmmm... Former UN weapons inspector Richard Butler told ABC Radio that Syria helped conceal Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. I think that military action against them would be problematic diplomatically/politically, convincing many Arabs that the War on Terror masks American imperial aspirations in the region. Then again, we've been wrong about "the Arab Street" before, this would eliminate one of the major terrorist-sponsoring regimes in the region, and might inspire "the Persian Street" to rise up against the mullahs in Iran. If nothing else, this gives us some diplomatic leverage, of the "stop supporting terrorism or we'll bomb the living cous-cous out of you" variety. posted by Nate on 1:57 AM link Tuesday, April 15, 2003Sweet Vishnu on hockey skates! My team, the defending Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings, lost yet again to the Anaheim Sonny Bono Copyright Extension Acts, falling behind 3 - 0 in the best of seven series. Only once has the defending champ been swept in the first round, and only two teams have ever come back from 3 - 0 down . Interestingly, Wings head coach Dave "Hitler Moustache" Lewis was on the last team to come back from 3 - 0, the 1975 Islanders. And to think that I wouldn't even be a hockey fan were it not for two coincidences. I knew what hockey was, sure, and watched the quatra-annual Olympic version as a kid. I read Sports Illustrated and knew that Wayne Gretzky and the Edmonton Oilers were The Shiznit. But I never really got into hockey until I got food poisoning one spring. Laying half-conscious on the couch, I had nothing to do but watch TV for several days straight. ESPN was airing the Stanley Cup Finals series between Vancouver and the New York Rangers, so I tuned in to that. I found it incredibly exciting, and kept watching after I got better (the series went seven games). I learned as much as I could about (aboot) the sport that summer, checking out library books on the Hall of Famers and old school Eddie Shore hockey in general. That the Red Wings became a contender also helped. The second coincidence was having a hockey obsessed roommate in college (Sup, O?) Oliver was a goalie in high school and played for UM's club team for a year. Damn near every night we'd stay up late and watch ESPN 2's coverage of Edmonton versus Calgary or somesuch, and play NHL '96 for the Sega Genesis with the guys in our hall all afternoon. Essentially, I'd get back from class and have the following conversation: "Dogg, want Goal?" "Obviously." Obviously. Those were the days. Obviously. posted by Nate on 2:23 AM link Monday, April 14, 2003Just two weeks before the NFL Draft, the Lions' likely selection Charles Rogers has tested positive for a "urine masking agent." I assume that means that he enjoys, uh, herbal essences. This is probably part of his agent's strategy, though; if Rogers and the Lions can't come to terms on a contract, he could always go play for the Portland Trailblazers. posted by Nate on 1:44 AM link Sunday, April 13, 2003Watched a bit of the Masters with my dad Saturday. Apparently, the Martha Burk protest was not the success she'd hoped. Only a couple dozen protesters showed up, and Martha herself left after an hour. But on the bright side, they had an inflatable pig! Fear the pig, man. Pink Floyd Rulez! Meanwhile, someone named "Georgina Z. Bush" shared his thoughts the war in Iraq. While dressed in clown makeup, a garter belt and an American flag--an interesting, serious ensemble that projects an authoritative voice on foreign policy matters. It's like a pinstripe suit, or a Reagan Power Tie: whenever I need astute political analysis, the first person I seek out is a transvestite clown. "And what are your thoughts on the Middle East, Dr. Frank N. Furter?" The best part, though, is that the policeman in charge of keeping Law And Order at Augusta is named Ronald Strength. How cool is that: a southern cop named Sheriff Strenghth. Wekkum to Jawjuh, son. I'm Sheriff Strength. Aroun heyah I am the law, an I got mah ah on ewe. I bet he had the mirrored shades and everything. posted by Nate on 2:07 AM link
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